Saturday, January 22, 2011

Cancer Doesn't Take A Break | Halifax, NS

It's been a month.  Exactly.  I got the phone call from my doctor one month ago today, at this time of the morning.  And my world blew up.  It's been nonstop cancer ever since.  Cancer, lymph nodes, "areas of concern," mastectomy, lumpectomy, radiation, MRI, mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, appointments, appointments, appointments, phone calls, books, information, decisions, decisions, decisions.

I hate it.  I'm scared of it.  I want to stop talking about it.  I want to stop thinking about it.  I want it to go away.

But cancer doesn't take a break.

I know, I tried.   Last night we unplugged the phone.  I turned off my mind.  I tried to make it go away.  But it was still there, in my head, dancing around.  Six o'clock this morning, after a night of restless sleep, I was wide awake and up for the day.  Thinking.   Looking for a distraction.  Pretty pictures of pretty flowers, perhaps.  Nope, that only lasts for a moment.  

I'm still hoping for a break.  But cancer doesn't take a break. 


email:  karenk{at}


  1. Sorry Kare, but no, cancer doesn't take a break. You're looking for "normal", before cancer. It will happen, you will find moments of "normal". Right now you mind is swimming... almost drowning but somewhere deep down you find the strength to breath. You will get through this, each day is a challenge. Some days you will see two sets of footprints and other days only one. One day you will look back at this time and think "I really am a strong person". I have every faith that "normal" will find you. Love you lots.

  2. it will be a long road - ask for company when you need it. love you! smh