Saturday, January 8, 2011

Team Karen: The Boob Squad | Halifax, NS

The one thing I've learned so far is that I can't fight this thing alone.  I've got my team, the crew, my posse backing me up all the way.   They do everything they can for me - some come to my appointments with me, some bake, send gifts or flowers, some pray, give hugs, think positive thoughts.  There is no one member of the team more important than the other.  Some are local, others are on the other side of the world.  Some I see every day, others I've never met.  Some support me, some support the people around me - if you've given hugs to my parents in Florida, I've felt it all the way up here in Nova Scotia!

If you're part of my team, I thank you!  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And if you're not part of my team, whatchya waiting for?


...Kare


email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

My Pity Party | Halifax, NS

I have cancer.  So what did I do?  I had my very own "ohmyGodihavecancer" Pity Party and it lasted a full two weeks.  That's right, I wallowed in it.  Did you see me?  You're probably surprised.  I faked it pretty well.  I had the odd public tear but I held my head up pretty well; you probably even heard me laughing and joking.  And when you asked how I was I told you I was doing pretty good.  Then I'd come home and get out the party hats and noisemakers and wallow in it some more.

I thought the Pity Party was over, I'm having a great couple of days - two in a row, whoohoo... then it hits.  Tears in the car.  Tears when I get home.  How long is this supposed to last?   Is it normal?  I'm beginning to wonder.  I could Google it, but I'm not really sure I want to know whether I'm normal or not.  I mean, it'll just freak me out if "normal" moved on from the Pity Party long before this. 

...Kare


email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Words, words, words... | Halifax, NS


All the words from yesterday, they're in my head, rattling around, waking me up.  Sleep was broken last night and as I lay in bed this morning, the words dance around and give me angst.  My moods are up and down, yesterday I was fine, the words didn't scare me and I could make light of them.  Today, notsomuch.

In the midst of my angst and fear I put on my happy face and head to work.

Don't be afraid for me, it will pass, it always does.

...Kare


email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

An overload of information... | Halifax, NS

My posse and I met with my surgeon today - I really liked him.   He took the time to meet my crew (I think we need a fancy name for them!), explained the options, and answered all the questions.

What do we know?  Right now, not much more than before.  There was so much to take in:  lumpectomy, MRI, lymph nodes, drainage tubes, training session, radiation, recovery, dishes...  Dishes?  Yeah, I also met the Breast Health Nurse Coordinator to get acquainted and discuss a bit of the process with her.   One of my posse asked about recovery from surgery, the nurse mentioned some exercises I'd be doing, said I should be sure to do the dishes, etc.  Dishes?  I don't do dishes now, why would I do them later?  Blah, the things you have to do to get back on your feet!

First step, an MRI to get a better look at the girls.  Then another meeting with the doc and see where we go.  Surgery is looking like it will be another few weeks away at this point.  I'm okay with that, I'm keeping my head together and thinking positively.

...Kare


email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Why I Blog | Halifax, NS

It seems my photo journey has become my cancer journey.  Some of you probably wonder why I blog something so personal here on a blog that is meant to promote my photography business.  Well, there are many reasons for that.  Let me try to explain...

This blog has always had a personal aspect to it.  In order to share my business, I also tend to share my life.  It would be pretty dry if it was just a blog of pictures.  Not to mention, it would be pretty bare since pictures are firstly shared on facebook and dont always make it to the blog. :-)

Then there is the cancer.  I cant tell everyone my news.  It is draining.  Trust me on that.  People need to know, they will find out, and they will wonder how I am doing.  This covers all the bases.  

I like to write.  Really, I do.  I am not a fabulous writer, I know that, but it comforts me to put the words down on paper and to look back on them and remember specific periods of my life. 

And perhaps the biggest reason why I blog right now... it makes me feel good.  People comment or email or send facebook messages and I feel all the love.  I know there are prayers out there for me and my family, I know it comforts others to read my story, and I know that I have my army of family and friends fighting with me.

That is reason enough for me.


...Kare


email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca