Tonight I Pray for Him | Halifax, NS

His Mom and I were the best of friends in high school.  She was the best friend a girl could ask for - she introduced me to cute boys and helped cover for me when I was late for curfew.  I remember sleep overs, painting parties, and late nights full of talks about the important stuff in life.  Surely it was all about boys and getting into trouble.

After high school and college, our lives drifted apart.  She got married and had a family and I eventually moved away to a life in the big city.  We'd catch up every few years at a wedding or run into each other at the mall and share our most recent news with promises to keep in touch.

Today we spoke by phone.  I knew something big was happening in her life but I didn't know what.  I only knew it wasn't good.  Her voice broke as she told me her youngest, at 13, has just been diagnosed with a tumour.  Her life is in a tailspin and she reached out to me, to see how I was doing and to commiserate.  My struggle seems so insignificant compared to my friend watching her child fight for his life.

Tonight I pray for Cameron.  I pray for his family, for his parents and loved ones to have strength to help him fight.  Tonight I pray hard.

xoxo

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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Nanny and Grampa Gillis | Halifax, NS

My mother's father always seemed to leave a cupboard door open.  It was his thing.  We all have quirks, this was one of his.  We tend to joke about it, if you walk into a kitchen and a cupboard door is open, perhaps Grampa Gillis has been here - he's been gone 20 years or so now but the comment never gets old. :-)

Once Jason moved in, Grampa Gillis has been here a lot.  There always seemed to be a stray cupboard door left open and it took J awhile to figure out that's what the problem was when I commented "Ohhhh, Grampa Gillis has been here."

Nanny Gillis died when I was about 16.  She had been sick for about 12 years before she died so all my memories of her are with her in her wheelchair unable to speak.  I always felt a connection with her, a kinship perhaps.  A few years ago I visited a psychic.  I'm a "sort of" believer - some things they're able to tell you are just so true.  The psychic I visited told me I had a guardian angel - she was mom's mother, sitting in a wheelchair, with an afghan over her lap and she was holding a dog.  I cried; I knew that if I did indeed have a guardian angel that it would be my mother's mother.  I've always felt that way, I could just feel her with me.

Yesterday morning, as Jason and I were preparing to leave for the hospital I looked into the kitchen and the cupboard door was open.  I turned to Jason to say the inevitable "Ohhhh, Grampa Gillis has been here" when I realized it was a sign that they were both here with me in spirit.  I was immediately comforted knowing that no matter what happened, I would not be alone on this very important day.

xoxo

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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I Woke Up Crying | Halifax, NS

I felt the tears fall down the side of my face as the nurse spoke to me, "Karen, what's wrong?"  "I'm just so happy," I responded.  I tried, but I couldn't stop.  My eyes fluttered open and closed again.  My lids were too heavy and my eyes weren't ready to focus on the room.  The nurse had stepped away and gone back to her desk.  She wanted me to stop crying:  "I can't help you if you keep crying."  She quietly came back and I asked her to wipe away the tears and she asked why I was crying.  "I'm just so happy it's over."

My day was pretty intense yesterday, to say the least.  I have much to share, but for now it's just a sigh and a smile.  I made it through.

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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My Crazy Day | Halifax, NS

My day started out like any other but ended up with an appointment for surgery tomorrow.  No time to give you all the details (except that there was a cancellation for tomorrow that I get to fill); I'm spending the evening snuggling in and freaking out just a bit.

I'll update when I can, hopefully in a few days.  Wish me luck!

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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Happy Birthday, Ryder! | Halifax, NS

In an attempt to keep life as normal as possible, I ventured to Ryder's birthday party.  I haven't wanted to photograph anything since diagnosis.  The only time I've picked up the camera was Christmas day and then the odd time since then.  I had no interest in taking pictures or editing pictures or anything else that comes along with it.  

Ryder's mom is a good friend who insisted I not come to Ryder's party - but instead for me to concentrate on myself and the healing I would need to do.  Jason suggested I go; he knew I needed to pick up the camera for enjoyment.  He was right.

And really, how could I resist this face?

Last November, I was at Ryder's house to take a family photo.  Mom, Dad, and I looked for the perfect location.  We got some pictures on the front step, some on the back step, but were looking for something else.  Let's try a spot in the living room, we'll move the sofa, add some Christmas props and bam! done.  Til we moved the sofa - poor Ryder didn't like that at all!  He had a little meltdown in the corner of the room where the sofa had once been. :-(  Moving the sofa back (quick, quick, quick!) didn't help, but a little bit of The Wiggles on TV sure did.  Imagine my surprise when I saw Ryder moving furniture around during his birthday party! ;-)

And of course, he's on my team, supporting Breast Cancer Awareness and helping me on my journey:

Happy Birthday, Ry!

xoxo

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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My Angel Watches Over Me | Halifax, NS

I have so many angels in my life, and now thanks to my friend Tracy and her husband, Dave, I have a constant reminder that I am blessed.

I hope you have angels in your life to help you through life's struggles.

Tracy and Dave, I love you both!  Thank you so much.

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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Look What I Found... | Halifax, NS

Back in the old days - you know, like a month ago - I couldn't read my cancer guide.  It's The Intelligent Patient Guide to Breast Cancer that is handed out to new breast cancer patients.  I didn't want anything to do with it, but everyone around me was clamoring to get their hands on it and give it a good read.  I was okay with not being informed right away because now my team was going to know everything.  And that damned book just made me cry.

Jason read it religiously.  I thought this was a good thing - until he got to the Nutrition section.  Then he hid the salt.  Yes.  Hid.  The salt.  We sat down to dinner one evening and my eyes darted around the table, then to the kitchen counter.  "Where's the salt," I asked.  "Oh, I hid it," he stated calmly and matter of factly.  "What?" was what came out of my mouth instead of "@#&^#%!"

He's not so bad - he also started making sure I eat my vegetables (kabobs, anyone?) and get my quota of fruit every day.

I did eventually find the salt (and use it in moderation, thank you very much!).  And I finally started reading my guide - without tears.

...Kare

email:  karenk{at}eastlink.ca

website:  http://www.karenkyte.com

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